| Bereaved Parents Holiday Wish List: 1): I wish my child hadn't died. I wish I had him back. 2): I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was important to you also. 3): If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child, and you have allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both. 4): I wish you wouldn't 'kill' my child again by removing his pictures, artwork, or other remembrances from your home. 5): Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me now, I need you now more than ever. 6): I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you: but, I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child, my favorite topic of the day. 7): I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my child's death pains you, too. I wish you would let me know those things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug. 8): I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. These first months are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die. 9): I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child, and I will always grieve that he is dead. 10): I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy." Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself. 11): I don't want to have a "pity party," but I do wish you would let me speak, aloud my hurt. 12): I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you. 13): When I say "I'm doing okay," I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily. 14): I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withrawn or irritable and cranky. 15): Your advice to "take one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time. 16): Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone. 17): I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my child died, and I will never be that person again. 18) I wish very much that you could understand: understand my loss and my grief, my silence, and my tears, my void and my pain. BUT I pray daily that you WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND!: With All My Love: To My Parents, Who Sometimes - Just Don't Understand! Many, many, many heartfelt thank you's, to the Cold Case Squad, especially Detective Heitor Texeira, whose overwhelming support, honesty, integrity, and diligence, helped solve my child's murder. Prosecutor Mr. Satti, who put together this case, and went to trial, seeing it to the very end, to a full conviction. Special Investigator Mr. Graham, whose support and respect towards myself and my family, got us through this horrible ordeal. Our trial Judge, and 12-Member Jury, who found these animals guilty, and who listened throughout the trial, to the evidence being presented, in order to achieve this. Special thanks to Captain Lynn Kerwin, who ran a great Department, with a great team of Detectives, and who was always available to my family. And to the Police Officers and Constables, whose names we never knew, but who where out there, on Pembroke Street, to cordon off the area, and to keep my family and I safe, while we were present on the scene, where my child lost his life. A very special thankyou, and so much more: to Connecticut Post's Reporter, Mr. Daniel Tepfer, whose consistency in reporting each trial day, was unwavering.. Our every single morning, was started with reading his report, on the progress of the trial, of the Animals, who took my child's life. His articles were truthful, and filled with much emotion. And last but not least, to one very special witness, who even though threatened with her life, came through, and testified against the MURDERER'S. Without you, this never could have been possible. I am indebted to you, to having the strength and courage, to come forward, when no one else would. You all remain in my parents and my heart: FOREVER! Thankyou's are not enough, but I know that you all understand, just 'What You Mean To Us'. Sincerely Today and Always, My Love To You All: Eva Kiss, Mom To Zoltan (Zolika). October, 2010 |
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